My New Pet Peeve

I just need a moment to rant, and I'm hoping I'm not alone in this... I just went to Bank of America to change my name on our joint checking account, and they would not do it without my original marriage certificate.  Even though I have electronic copies of everything- and I brought my old, cancelled drivers license and my new one, along with my social security card showing my new name. 

The thing that really irks me about this, is that my marriage certificate is not the legal document that changed my name.  I know in some states the marrige certificate does change the woman's name if she wants it, but in NJ all it shows is that I am married, and who I married.  The legal document that actually changed my name was the social security card... and now the drivers license.  And why does BoA need to know the underlying reason for my name change anyway?  I guarantee if a man went in and said he changed his name, they would not ask for his marriage certificate.

According to BoA, it is an anti-fraud and anti-money laundering measure, and also for tax reporting, etc.  I don't buy it for a second.  J. and I could close our account today and then walk in tomorrow and open a new one with just our drivers licenses.  It makes me so angry that I want to just close all of my accounts with BoA- even though it would be simpler and easier just to bring in the marriage certificate.   

And the other thing that really gets to me about this, is that everyone else wants to see the marriage certificate too.  Nobody ever asks for my license or social security card.  Case in point: Signature Property Group, who manages my condo complex.  They wanted the marriage certificate as evidence of the name change; when I offered to send the other, actual name change documentation, they said they didn't need it. 

I feel that it is incredibly paternalistic that every major institution I have worked with on this issue has asked for a document that shows who my husband is- as opposed to a document showing who I am- as evidence of my name change.  As a woman who has managed my life without a man on my paperwork for 30+ years now, I am 100% offended. 

 Has anyone else found this element of starting a new life frustrating?  How did you salvage your pride without ruining your own life?  All I want to do is sue people :)

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