Avoiding the Middle School Sway

When I first told J. that I wanted to take dancing lessons for our wedding, this basically sums up the image I had in my head.

[caption id="attachment_2201" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="click image for source..."][/caption]

Only kidding.  I love me some Jennifer Gray and Patrick Swayze, but what I really was hoping was to simply avoid reliving the middle school sway during our first dance.  You know the one.

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J. on the other hand, reacted negatively to the idea at first.  He wanted the moment of our first dance to be personal and romantic, and was afraid of showboating.  I maintained that showboating was highly appropriate given that it was, um, our wedding.  But since he wasn't feeling it, I didn't really push it.  I just focused on the fact that my dad and I were taking dance lessons (something I was already psyched about) and figured J. and I would be fine.

[caption id="attachment_2205" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="This may be what J. wanted to avoid (click for source)"][/caption]

So imagine how happy I was when J. surprised me on my 30th birthday with... dancing lessons!  We went to Arthur Murray in Ridgewood, New Jersey, where we took a private lesson taught by a very pleasant and patient teacher.  And we were both shocked by how much easier it was than we thought it would be.  For me, dancing isn't too hard because I took years of lessons growing up.  But when J., who has no dancing background, also figured it out quickly, we were especially happy!  J. has always been an accomplished athlete (having wrested in high school and college, and he holds a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) so I guess the same technique for memorizing moves and combinations there was helping him remember the moves with dancing.  And when all was said and done, not only did we have better stage presence, we also had a really nice time!

I highly recommend these dancing lessons to everyone!  I think what made our experience so successful was the following:

- We kept it simple with just three dance steps and a turn which could be done in any order we wanted, so long as we communicated.  That was nice because it left lots of wiggle room when we got to the dance floor, and also helped us hide mistakes-- and the ability to hide mistakes was good for the nerves!

-At the end of our dance we did a dip.  One - and only one- signature move that required some practice and concentration.  We did not let things get over-complicated and it worked out well for us.

- We took two lessons and then practiced for 5 minutes a night at home, just to any music that happened to be on the radio.  J. would try to trick me, so that I'd really pay attention to his movement and allow him to lead.  And when all else failed, he'd just tell me "ok I'm about to do a turn."  Being able to talk may not fly in ballroom competition, but people at the wedding just thought we were whispering sweet nothings into one another's ears.

- Having the dance to concentrate on also helped take some of the pressure off of us- I know, it is ironic that doing something like that actually made it easier to have so many eyes on us.  But when you're thinking about all the dance moves, it leaves less time to think about the fact that so many people are watching, or how nervous you are.  And after some practicing, it wasn't even very hard, which meant there was still space in our brains to absorb the magic of the moment.

- We had fun with it at home!  We goofed off and laughed a lot, and it became it's own memory.

At the end of the day, our dance wasn't at all showboat-y.  It was simple, romantic, and to top it all off, looked nice in photos.  J. and I still talk about how much we enjoyed it!  I'm still working on recaps with pro pics but in the mean time, check out these lovely first dance shots taken by friends and family!  Are you sold yet?  Would you try dance lessons?

And by the way, if you are thinking of taking lessons and live in NYC, NJ, or Long Island, be sure to check out today's Groupon: $45 for four weeks of lessons at Dance with Me!

[caption id="attachment_2206" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Starting out and working through the nervousness..."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_2207" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Starting to relax and enjoy the moment!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_2208" align="aligncenter" width="225" caption=""ok now I'm going to turn you...""][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_2209" align="aligncenter" width="225" caption="The big finish!"][/caption]