The Right Church For a Religious Mutt

The story of how we found our church was one of those "bumps in the road" that took me by surprise.  Initially, J. and I thought we wanted to be married in a Catholic church- I grew up as a sort of religious "mutt"; in a family where my mom was Catholic, my dad Presbyterian, and other family members whose beliefs ranged from Pentecostal, to United Methodist, to so called "nondenominational."  I also had friends who were of different religions, and in my Catholic school, we were taught that all religions (with the exception of certain pseudo-religions which seem to exist only to exploit their followers- you probably know which ones I'm talking about) have a value, a truth, and a place in our world, and that we all share certain common values- like tradition, caring, and community.  And, most importantly, LOVE!  So to me, it was no big deal to be a "mutt."

Having had this experience, and having spent 12 years in Catholic school, my first thought was to consider getting married in a Catholic church.  J. was raised Catholic and also liked the idea.  But as my search for a church began, we were quickly reminded that if you're Catholic, you're not allowed to live together before marriage.  So when a potential priest chewed me out over the issue (yeah, I won't go into detail but I was shocked that he did that too too) we decided maybe we should find another place.

Though I'm a mutt, I was confirmed Presbyterian, and J.'s mother grew up Presbyterian, so that was the logical next place to look.  We began calling Presbyterian churches in the target area.  But since we're getting hitched so close to Christmas, many of the potentials were holding choir practices that Saturday for Christmas eve.  And some churches flat out told me they wouldn't marry us unless we had plans to join their church.  Yikes!  In their defense, I'm sure its not very fun to have people want to get married in your church, but who don't want to actually attend your church.  I sympathize and I get it.  But J. and I are too far from the area to make any of these places a "home" church, and frankly, I'm still figuring a lot of these things out for myself.  I feel like nobody should have to "prove" a threshold level of spirituality as a prerequisite for getting married.  J. agreed and so we passed on those options.

Fortunately, I did eventually find an available church.  W.S.P. church, which has a gorgeous interior  perfect for a winter wedding ,with lots of natural sunlight and a style that is once both modern and classic.  But, more importantly, the people who will be working with us are amazing!  We met with the pastor over the weekend, which gave me an opportunity to take these photos, and I was nervous going into it (for the reasons above and then some)!  But he was so kind, fun to talk to, very smart... exactly the kind of person one can look up to, and the kind of person I wanted to marry us!  And the other folks at the church- the wedding coordinator and the minister of music, have been equally gracious.  We were able to choose readings that had personal meaning, and tailor the ceremony to fit our families and our lives.

At first, the struggle to find a ceremony location was really frustrating.  But I'm so glad we stayed the course because in the end, we found a gorgeous place that suited us perfectly and welcomed us in exactly the way you would expect a church to do!  I can't wait to get married there!