The Psychology of Romantic Love

I definitely agree with the school of thought that marriage takes work- of course it does.  I think everyone can agree on that.  But what's even more interesting to me, is the kind of continual soul searching required by marriage.  I just finished reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, and in it, she talks about happiness in the way I think about marriage:
Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.

One might argue that my attitude is just another predictable manifestation of the Protestant work ethic we hold so dear on the east coast.  One might argue I've taken too many feminist theory courses.  And of course I've only been ,married for 6 months, so right now I'm still pretty blissful, what do I know?  Then again, as a child of divorce I've always been pretty in-tune to the marriages around me (there are some pros- and enormous cons- to this level of "tuned in-ness" but it is just how I'm built).  So, for better or for worse, whether I'm being fatalistic or realistic, I think a fundamental amount of work is required to maintain a healthy marriage.

And that is precicely why I was thrilled when my bridesmaids gifted me the book The Psychology of Romantic Love.  This is a great book.  A.  Great.  Book.  I'm not a huge book-review-writer so I'll keep this short, but suffice it to say that the book is absolutely chock full of insight into modern relationships and it floored me how I could look around me and see one application after another in my world.  Once you begin reading the book, you probably won't be surprised to learn that the author is one of the leading authorities on self esteem issues.  My favorite insight is that we have to stop fighting the fact of our "aloneness" in order to be ready for a partner.  I also like the discussion of one's partner as a sort of psychological "mirror" which reflects the person you actually are.  I think this is an absolute must-read if you are in a serious relationship or if you like pop psychology.  It is super-duper interesting stuff with super important practical applications.

I'm not saying I have it all figured out- or that Nathaniel Branden does either- but this is a great read!

Have you read any books that have really spoken to you, on the topics of love or marriage?